Family by design: Program connects kids with volunteer ‘grandmothers’

A new program that links kids with volunteer grandmothers is helping bridge generations in Ottawa. 

It’s called Chosen Grandma, and it’s aimed at children who either don’t have a grandmother in their lives, or whose extended family lives far away.

The volunteers go through a rigorous screening process including interviews, references and police checks. They also get training and ongoing support.

Julie Hodgson was paired with seven-year-old Hera Opemo. Hera’s two-year-old brother Kwe gets to share in their activities.

Together they’ve toured the National Gallery of Canada and attended an African and Caribbean music and dancing event at the National Arts Centre. 

They’ve also spent time at a local park and played board games such as Snakes and Ladders. 

“[Kwe] likes to play with his cars with her, and I like to play puzzles and Jenga with her,” said Hera.

Hodgson, 76, retired from a busy career in the arts. With no children or grandchildren of her own, she found she craved more connection in her community, especially with young people.

“I miss that a lot from working, because it was such a busy job,” she said. “I’ve had lots and lots of opportunities in my life, and I really like sharing what I know, especially with newcomers. It’s really nice to introduce them to Canada and to my city.”

‘We need community’

Hera and Kwe arrived in Canada from Kenya six months ago with their single mother Destiny Kuchio, who attends Willis College.

Kuchio said when she arrived she didn’t know anyone in Ottawa.

“We have no family here. When I saw the [Chosen Grandma] poster, I realized we need support. We need community.”

Like her children, Kuchio calls Hogdson “Grandma Julie.” She maintains a close bond with her own grandmothers, both of whom live in Kenya.

“I completely understand the benefits,” said Kuchio. 

She explained to her own mother, also living in Kenya, that Hodgson is not replacing her, but adding to Hera’s quality of life here in Ottawa.

“She understood it as us giving Hera more,” said Kuchio. “It’s not about replacing [her] in Hera’s life, it’s about [Hera] having someone else here.”

Peg Herbert is the driving force behind Chosen Grandma, along with co-director Marilyn Collette.

Before her own retirement, Herbert worked in international development, focusing on children’s resilience and mental health. Chosen Grandma combines that experience with what she observed as a need for meaningful retirement.

The benefits of the program go both ways. The children get extra attention, while the senior women report feeling a renewed sense of purpose, according to Herbert.

Parents benefit, too

And then there’s the added benefit to the parents. 

“They’re doing their best, but there are so many stressors and they don’t often have time or — if they have younger children — the energy or the finances,” said Herbert.

“There’s a huge demographic of women who always thought they’d have grandchildren, but they’re not going to.” said Herbert. “Or else they have grandchildren, but they’re so far away that they just don’t have that regular contact with them, and they’re really longing for that.”

Once a month, the “grandmas” get together to share ideas about outings, build friendships and talk up their assigned kids. 

“It is so special to hear the grannies brag about their ‘grandchild,’ says Herbert. “It’s so adorable.”

Kuchiro said that bond goes both ways, and is evident every time little Kwe has to say goodbye to Grandma Julie.

“Every single time, he cries,” she said.

To learn more about Chosen Grandma, check out the program’s website.